Here I am watching youtube and eating dinner halfway...and my lit fren called mi. She's an A grader and because I flunk my first few essays, I asked her for advice for the assignments that we have to hand in by this week.
1st flaw: Language. I admit I was never good in English, yet I still chose English Lit because I love to explore and understand universal interests. When I had the decision to choose between NIE and NTU English, I went around asking others and myself if I am capable of taking English. And I plunged into it because it was my first choice. A choice I wanted all along. It's my dream to study Lit besides ADM or other designing courses.
I had a career laying right in front of me. Piano. A job that I will definitely venture into. It was my ambition since secondary school to become a piano teacher. I am already one now. A part-time piano teacher. I never regretted teaching my 2 students. I know I will definitely take on this job and so, since JC started, I wondered why I ever took that disgusting education route. Or am I just stupid to handle the subjects?
2nd flaw: Faith. At times, I still doubt myself that I can at least deal with the English Language better. I am terrible at it. An Arts student getting a C6 in GP is simply horrendous. Lousy. Wherever I walk in NTU, be it the reading room, pass the benches or the libraries, I see students frantically studying and absorbing all the knowledge they can. And me? I have to learn to understand the subjects that I am not capable of scoring. And I bloody hell chose it. I made my own choice. And here I am, suddenly bursting into tears.
Initially, my fren said my writing is more clear cut now. I felt safe. I thought there's hope. And then after reading my essay again, she called me up to say it isn't convincing enough because I probably did not understand my theories well enough to differentiate them. I'm not blaming her. I'm actually glad I have a fren who can help criticise my writing and point out my mistakes. You know how seriously I take myself, don't you?
Why didn't I take up debating as a cca? I don't want to give up even though I'm sick of it. Language and faith. It's so tough to improve something you always get beaten at since young. Can i make it to the top? All I know is that the journey is definitely going to be rough and extremely tough.
love, cy
ME ;
CHONG
English major
Indefinable
ADORES ;
whoever & whatever that
loves to stickwitME;
for GOOD reasons only. ((:
WISHES ;
(: lesser pimples!
(: give more time for good reads
