AIRBOURNE. |Will there ever be satisfaction?|

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

it's a rainy day and im not doing what im supposed to do.

love, cy

Monday, August 28, 2006

I GOT MY LAPPY I GOT MY LAPPY I GOT MY LAPPYYY!!!!!

Super happy!!! =DDDDDDDDDDDDD

love, cy

Friday, August 25, 2006

I woke up in the morning and asked myself what the hell I have been doing.

I had a dream. I got stressed up and teared while saying "I haven't settled down. Don't pressurize me.."

I subconsciously woke up and wipe off the tears on my cheeks---not knowing whether those tears are real or only tears in my dream. I then went back to sleep.

I woke up and questioned myself what I have been doing.

At least, i felt those tears were real.

By the way, don't you guys feel that at this age, we have gone past all the sweety lovey-dovey relationships period? Now, I hear most of my friends telling me how sour their r/s with their partner turned out or how some partners can be total jerks. We're only 19 leh! wa lau. please let all partners be happy with each other can. bai tuo.

The number 407 still scares me.

love, cy

Friday, August 18, 2006

I cannot not have prejudices.

You always have prejudices.

We are forever bias.

We are prejudiced once our brain starts functioning and taking in information. The things we read and see, the opinions we take in, we choose them. we choose what to listen to. If you say you are neutral, you're wrong. It's psuedo-neutrality. We choose to take in what we want due to what we have experienced so far. Our own opinions might change along the way. BUT REMEMBER, we ALWAYS have prejudices. Next time anyone says you are prejudiced, confidently tell them "Indeed, I am. Don't you dare use this as a reason to put me down. We all are. That applies to you too."

[What's happening tonight: COOKING OUR OWN DINNER! =DDDDDD]

love, cy

MY ROOMIE IS GONE!!! NOT EXACTLY GONE...SHE'S JUST 3 DOORS AWAY FROM ME LIVING WITH HER SIS! BUT I MISS HER ALR!

BR! WHEN R WE GONNA PLAY & EAT MOVIE THEATER BUTTER POPCORN DURING MIDNIGHT AGAIN?!

love, cy

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Did i tell you that I can't forget I smashed the fan that had grown up with me?

it wasn't intentional. never.

love, cy

Saturday, August 12, 2006

School for this week is officially over. The real tutorials start next week. I'm always getting lost in school.

New friends found. I'm always not the one talking alot when I first meet new friends and tutors. Still am adapting to the whole new experience. Fortunately, I am real glad that there's always my og whenever my mouth is itchy and I feel like yakking. Alot of issues were mentioned. Bout life. Issues revolving around life. Issues of an ordinary teen's lifestyle. Each of us, for sure, have our own set of problems to deal with. We just need time to sort it out. At least, we all just need to bitch and contemplate our thoughts.

Thoughts on wed:
Perhaps I should get yourself, IF YOU DARE, to burn one of your own ears so you can learn to appreciate the gift of listening and hence, listen and take in other people's opinions even better. I should burn my own mouth and flood the fire with water in my heart in return. I ruined something. And now, the words from you doesn't even count. The traditions we live in. Ironically restrictive.

Sigh.

Almighty, save me! Please let me not be a procrastinator and allow me to finish my readings with a certain amount of ease.

Things are still so raw recently. I miss the good and bad old times. I need time to seek solace.

I am aching all over. Too much exercises. Need to wake my brain up for reading. Work, serious work. Play, ultimate play. Sleep, JUST SLEEP.

I should stop procrastinating. Come on, light up and get going!

love, cy

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

1st night of hostel life is like living in a chalet. u play, play and u play. Lessons are interesting and a lil monotonous in prof's speech so far. Taxing, but funny. meet long lost frens, seniors and certain ppl that appears now and then in your memories. The books cost 100 nuclear bombs and they weigh 100 tonnes. It's like reading dictionaries, except for some books. I want to chop up the books. But it's worth the money. There's so many authors, so many stories. I like. THERE'S SO MUCH TO READ. SO MUCH. SO MUCH TO READ. i am petrified, feel so dead but at the same time excited!!! and there's so many stuffs to handle! ur hostel, wad to get, wad to be involved in, the precise information to take in any many more. i cannot afford to lock myself out of my own hostel room. i cannot. i must remember to bring my keys out..

on a side-note: I was daydreaming..for a long time..If my course coordinators a.k.a my professors are to dress like professor dumbledore, and we dress like harry potter...whoa. i'll feel like I'm in Hogwarts minus the grandeur of the magnificent and imaginative architecture. S3.2 B1-B5 VS 9 three-quarters.

so much reading. national day is reading day and A3A day! *clock turns 12. weiqi just vommitted 100 singapore flags emoticons over msn. HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!* Funny and disappointing how the younger generations' pride for the country is fading away, and i'm one of them. I better do something bout it. HOWEVER, i just recalled, back in hostel earlier in the afternoon, some guy from the 4th lvl was playing A LOT of national day songs (i live on the 6th floor) and i was singing along! haha. it's nice.

"My outer protective layer of NEW shell is formed automatically, because of you. It's ironic that i broke my shell for you and now i built another, a thicker shell, because of you. And you, not you, yes you, don't look at me sympathetically. Don't even try to attempt. You can't trespass. You can't even step in. How can you even gain permission to step into mine when your shell isn't even broken for me to enter? How can you be so selfish? I'm sorry, but the shell is there. Our shells are there. They're here. Leave."

love, cy

Friday, August 04, 2006

hmm. i do not know how to make ppl feel better. i do not know what to do to lift them out of sadness, of hurt. i used to 'console'. after that much hurt in the past, i feel 'consoling' is too damaging, too hurtful itself. i turned towards becoming helpless instead. worried. but still, helpless. i shut up. sighs. where's the sighs for relief? let yourself breathe. let me breathe.

i once bought the redundant search of my own empty soul and after, i threw it away. i threw it back into the reject shop. have u decided to purchase yours or turn it away for sth better coming right up? the better of the bad or the worse of the good?

enough of that. I AM SATISFIED and extremely exhausted with the trip to m'sia today. marvellous journey. :DDD

tml's freshmen welcome day! collection of matriculation card! A journey to the west again! and no time to recuperate my energy!

love, cy

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

'THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE'

The last.

'Now from his breast into his eyes the ache
of longing mounted, and he wept at last,
his dear wife, clear and faithful, in his arms,
longed for as the sunwarmed earth is longed for by a swimmer
spent in rough water where his ship went down
under Poseidon's blows, gale winds and tons of sea.
Few men can keep alive through a big surf
to crawl, clotted with brine, on kindly beaches
in joy, in joy, knowing the abyss behind:
and so she too rejoiced, her gaze upon her husband,
her white arms round him pressed as though forever.'

The first.

Love after Love
'The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.'

Time is nothing. Nothing. Beautiful.

love, cy

i can never live in peace with anyone. tell mi u can.

love, cy

i think i getting a slight brand-conscious fever. i dunno where some of my past 6 mths pay went. maybe in my dreams, i subconsciously went to the casino and placed stakes like 200 per go and in the mornings when i wake up and check my account, miraculously, my money's gone.

im having A LOT of dreams lately. wonka dreams and heroic nightmares. i need no dreams.

Eyeing on the yoga top. the yoga top. vision-the yoga top. HAHAHA.

a pity the pretty sweets rained and painted the dull lab's floor. =( It was scary coz i was sad but i was smiling while i said i was a bit sad. having expressions disorder.

i have overloaded gifts! and money was well-spent!

love, cy