AIRBOURNE. |Will there ever be satisfaction?|

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Collin Raye-'Love, me'

I read a note my grandma wrote back in nineteen twenty-three.
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me. He said,
"Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I loved your Grandma so."

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.
Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, instead
I found this letter, and this is what it said:

If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long I'll be.
But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till I see you again,
I'll be loving you. Love, me.

I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away,
In the doorway of a church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray.
I know I'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;
But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.

If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long I'll be.
But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till I see you again,
I'll be loving you. Love, me.
Between now and then, till I see you again,
I'll be loving you. Love, me.

love, cy

Sunday, September 24, 2006

I dislike this feeling.

Blow wind blow. Blow it away.

love, cy

Thursday, September 21, 2006

There's always complexity in simplicity. I seem to always be finding trouble for myself. I have no idea if it's good or bad. Perhaps there's just impending doom to come?

The stress is on.

I don't want to put in much effort on stuff that seems unclear to me. Don't...

Almost everything is a blur to me. Okay. Maybe not a blur. Remember whenever there's expectation there's disappointment? I think I'm on that track. A rightfully wrong track. Hopefully I can gear back to where I was before. Maybe being ignorant will lose some fun along the way, or perhaps, perhaps, it'll just do me fine.

Perhaps I'll just be fine alone at this point in time, that's when I'm stressed. Or perhaps the irony of it all...I just need attention. Sorry, but I need it my way, this time.

love, cy

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

I'm glad I had close friends wishing me well. Even some long lost friends and friends that I hardly talk to.

Had a shock of my life at 12 midnight ytd. haha. crazy bunch of friends. They're good. The only reason why I'm back now at 11am in my hostel stinking is that I had a helluva great night. Sweet & disgusting friends I've got..LOVE YOU ALL! haha.

You wished me Happy Birthday. The only means which you probably now know that can allow me to read your message. When I first saw it, you send my heart into a world of chaos. But why? After when I calmed down, I just felt glad. I know this means I can never walk tt path with you again. Because this will allow you to control my heart and never will i allow you to do that. You remembered. I'm glad for the wish. I'll move on from here saying a silent thank you and goodbye.

To my crazy bunch of friends who will like to see a more feminine side of me, thanks for the threatening ah. haha. The gifts are way cool. You guys know there is no need to claim who came up with the ingenious idea of the surprise. All are geniuses!

And to you, thank you for spending the wee hours of the morning with the semi-conscious me who is still rather shocked by the surprise. Thank you for going through my fears with me even though you have your own at this point in time. Let's be healthy. :)

Happy Birthday to me!

love, cy

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

"Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night."

Dover Beach-Mathew Arnold

Had fruitful shopping sprees, meeting up sessions with friends and some time to spend with my family for last week.

Thanks so much to my A3A mates for last sat's celebration at 1 baghdad street. haha. it was great, even the smashed cake. great food, cool drinks, cosy and unique atmosphere and fantastic company! On top of that, the beloved lappy case!

Thank you Anli, Weiqi, Bishan and XiuWen. You guys are the sweetest. I still miss jc life...the lethargic moments, the stress, the craze, the excitedness...everything more than and including the mere happiness that we shared...and even until now, this friendship we treasure.

Remember that time when we thought that our friendship was nothing more than just acquaintance? But Anli, can you remember the countless times when you see my mood swings? Weiqi, can you remember the only time when we quarrelled? And do you remember the time when I hugged you so tightly just before the receiving of 'A' lvl result slip? I don't even know why I was crying at that time. B4 that, for 1 mth, I've been in a state of confusion. I was lost. Maybe I just had to burst out. And you guys were there. WQ, you were shocked. I remembered. I laughed after that. It was crazy, isn't it? Bish, I can remember you hugging me though. haha. I remember we went crazy after you told me you got a bf and how we have gone mad over econs tuition. Xiuwen, you were the one that continuously printed lit notes and emailed all those prelim papers for us..you're so cute lah. Always see you with the cheeky smile. I thank you all for tolerating my nonsensical behaviour all this while. But most importantly, thank you for watching me grow, thank you for listening to my stories and thank you for asking how have i been almost every single day. Thank you.

I've been gradually feeling more comfortable with myself these 6 mths. I hope I wont commit the mistake of being the monster in my own nightmare again. I realised that it isn't fair to others if i bring forward my fear from my past mistakes and set up a glass wall when approaching anyone. How can I actually blabber my troubles and forget you have your fears too? How silly can i get?

love, cy

Monday, September 04, 2006

'The Wife Of Bath's Tale'-The Canterbury Tales

"Wommen desire to have sovereintee
As wel over hir housbonde as hir love,
And for to been in maistrye him above."

Is this true, women?

"Poverte is hateful good...
Poverte is thing, although it seeme elenge,
Possession that no wight wol chalenge;
Maketh his God and eek himself to knowe;
Poverte a spectacle is, as thinketh me,
Thurgh which he may his verray freendes see."

This excerpt ROCKS.

"And olde and angry nigardes of dispence---
God sende hem soone a verray pestilence!"

Haha. One word. Beautiful.

love, cy

Sunday, September 03, 2006

lost touch of internet for bout 2-3 days. have been slacking alot. got a few owed readings to settle.

i better WAKE UP.

love, cy