AIRBOURNE. |Will there ever be satisfaction?|

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Playtime II!

Exams are finally over for the lit freshmen and in 3 mths time, welcome to the year of s-o-p-h-o-m-o-r-e-s! I felt I could do better for 103 but heck, it's over! Freshman's life was good, and I certainly hope year 2 will be beaming bright. [love]

It's always glorious food after exams with the one who calls me ben darling. Steaming sweaty steamboat and excellent dessert! brilliant food, brilliant shopping, brilliant company. [love]

Phantom and Christine is waiting for me this sunday! [love]

All the food and laziness has caused my body to become improportionate. seriously! check out the cellulite.
I'm a kou rou bao. add marshmallow.

Can you believe I have not exercised for 1 whole sem? LOL. ok it's time to EXERCISE!
It's also the time to find a job and rob the boss' money.

And definitely, more fun with mes amis! (:

Labels: ADM132, HL103, HL105, HL204, HW111, LF80 done

love, cy

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Le Soir Avant Mon Examen Pour le Cours de Francais
The Evening Before My French Exam

Decided to pamper myself with relaxation before taking French exam so I decided to watch this film! 2nd time watching it...but it still gives me goosebumps.

Best. (:

Wish me luck for French Exam tml!
Bonne nuit!

love, cy

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Thank You

i didn't know it's wrong to keep saying 'thank you'.

love, cy

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Absurd

i dreamt about a lot of happy endings. then i woke up and went to bathe. when i came back, there was a missed call. i called Awards Music School and the director told me the two mothers want to allow their girls to continue lessons with the relief teacher.

the thing is, all along i've been good, unless the director tells me i'm not. I merely skipped 3 lessons because of major exams and the mothers of the 2 kids want to change tutor. They can't even speak for themselves coz they're so young and obedient. i understand that one of them is new, and we had only a few lessons together, so it's ok. but the other one whom i have taught for nearly a year? besides, before i din turned up for these 3 lessons, i've already planned well for them to be taught under a relief tutor. relief leh. why do people so easily change things as they wish? i'm not saying they must follow me, but Cristofori will never allow this to happen so often. I've had the experience of 'stealing' one of the tutor's students because the student wanted me, as a relief teacher, at that time to teach her. and I felt worthy, but at the same time guilty. You can't change teachers as you wish, especially with regards to Piano. It's like having taught in so many different methods and in the end, you can't stick with one. That was why my ex theory tutor and piano tutor told me it's difficult to teach students who haven't followed them for quite some time.

Anyhow, I'm disappointed. But I kinda feel good because I don't have to travel far on Sundays just to teach for a few hours. And maybe if I feel like teaching during the vacation i can go for Cristofori, the home I visit every weekend since I was 8. Only the audition freaks me out. I miss my teachers, the staff and familiar faces. (:

love, cy

Friday, April 20, 2007

Ignorance

i'm a vulgar girl today. and i cant study because my fren is not studying! he is affecting me! would you render your hands to help give him two tight slaps? why am i so easily distracted? you can gimme two tight slaps too.

anw, i fell over those red-lippy comfy chairs in the studying area at the quad for the second time. my foot fucking hurts now. and i strongly rejected my fren's help when he wanted to take a look at my foot. seriously, i'm scared, ok? it fucking hurts.

on a side-note, it's funny that my family members are always out of town when i'm having major exams. dad's in china, mom's going to m'sia tml, bro's in tekong, and i'm stuck at an end of the red dot. Je veux voyager!

I don't understand why I am so secretive nowadays. I don't understand why roomie said i'm so affected by the Virginia Tech incident. I don't understand why I always take the old shuttle buses instead of the new. I don't understand why I have to binge on chocolates and sweets when the exams are here. I don't understand why I'm so easily distracted. I don't understand why I judge others when I am not doing myself justice. I don't understand why I am so fucked up by puny incidents. I don't understand why I indulge in ideal books, trashy drama serials and sentimental movies.

No. I know. I just choose 'I don't know' so that you can guess why. so my secrets are subjective to whoever reads this.

you know what? this whole entry doesn't seem to be coherent. and it doesn't seem to make sense because i'm writing anything that comes to my mind. and i'm going to stop now because this can go on forever. goodbye.

love, cy

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

One Night Before Exams

Dad called. He asked if I needed anything.
"You're always the best, always my best daughter," he said.
I felt really weird, maybe because coming from a Chinese-educated family, he said it in English. but my nose turned sour.
I kept silent. Didn't know what to say.
Afterall, I'm from a conservative family.

"Eat more. Remember to eat a hot dog and two eggs."
I told him, "no lar... cannot eat eggs."
I remembered telling mom that it's impossible to get full marks for lit.
Even Dr. D said so.
But anyhow, I still like the way dad said it.

"I'm going to China tml."
"You're going again? How come?"
...
"Is it going tough for you?"
"yea...a lot of work..."
my nose is still sour.
...
"Take care of yourself okay... take care...take care...bye bye."
The phone call ended.
I could feel we both didn't want to hang up.
I didn't say "take care" to him.
Because, my throat is choked.

One to two weeks ago, I had a quarrel with the beast at home.
Dad shouted that he had to visit a heart specialist because of us.
I shouted back and said it's because of him.
Then he shouted back and said, no, it's you.
Did you know how my heart cringed?
All along, I was standing up for justice.
Even if I have total prejudices against him.
So I told him, I'm not coming back.
I won't go home.
I told mom I'll be staying in hall until after exams.
And I left home for hall on my own.

But now, I miss home.

Labels: be strong, you got to face up to it.

love, cy

Sunday, April 15, 2007

I wish there was someone older who could protect me and guide me.

a
real
brother.

love, cy

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Alive

French oral is over! yay!

Hot Mocha
Hello Panda
Hot Earl Grey Tea
Haw flakes by Aly dear

kept me alive until 1.30am at Cafe by the Quad.

Strong mints would help too, but the air-con is too cold for that.
Air-con is a boost. loves comfy armchairs.

and more reads to go. analysis. thematic claims. arguments.

i think i'll need more tea and caffeine tml.

love, cy

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Etch

You know...
when you experience hatred, you'll know what love is.
You'll understand why love is so hard to come about.
That love from others is exceptionally beautiful and precious.

I wish this deep hatred would go away,
but it's been etched in my heart for years.

When will it be a smooth surface again? How to?
Could you give me an answer?

A goodie will tell you that he/she wishes you will never experience hatred.
That's the paradox.

love, cy

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Making Dreams Come True

The thing about me is I have a lot of dreams. Whenever I see something I like to do, I'd think I wanna be like that in the future.

"Didn't make sense not to live for fun", sang by Smashmouth says it all.

This afternoon I watched discovery travel & living and i carried the thought of migrating to Europe to work in Disney theme park. Magic realism in disney studios rocks. but, how far will i go to pursue this dream?

Almost everyday, I ask myself what will i do with a lit degree. It's not as if i'm good in language. I'd love to teach, but it won't be the case if i'm teaching what i have no confidence in. Other options? Corporate world? etc etc. How?

It's just that sometimes the journey is wearing me out. And it doesn't help if someone's words, someone related by blood, puts you down completely.

I refuse to give up. And with this determination, I have thought much and decided to have one more dream. A dream I long wished for it to be fulfilled. If i tell dad, i'm not sure if he'll let me pursue it. Afterall, he was the one who started out in this line which is not exactly similar and has his ups and downs.

The only question now is, when will i pursue it? He popped the question after my As. Should I start pursuing it during school vacation and then handle both dreams, or pursue it after graduation?

We'll see.

Labels: dream your little dream come true

love, cy

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Thanks for Faith

Thank you for your faith in me
sweetest lah. (:

hmmmmm...Actually, i got something for you too.

i betcha lurveee it. whee! but you won't want to know the reason why i got it. HA!

love, cy

Continuation

I dreamt about my French tutor and classmates. my mind is repressed. Is there anything unconscious?!?! too much of Freud makes mi go mad. So i dreamt about Yannick staying on campus, and he msged us after some time when French class ended telling us to stay indoors or go to his house because there is the spread of dengue fever.

At the time when he msged me, I was playing hide and seek with my brother at an unknown place. Pretty scary. We were supposed to find children and there were notes which are clues lying around in the house.

Then I woke up. Okay this is very abrupt but it's the end of my story because I am in 103 lecture. bye!

love, cy

Mes Devoirs pour le Cours de Francais
(My French Homework)

I was doing frenchies at 2am. So i had to fill in the blanks and i came across this silly passage tt perks mi up a little.

J'aime Lili, je voudrais partir avec elle pour Tahiti. Mais Lili aime Freddy. Elle va chez lui l'apres-midi. Oh Lili! Viens chez moi! J'ai mille baisers pour toi. J'imagine une petite maison pour nous, toi et moi. Oh! Lili, cherie!

Translation:
I love Lili, I would like to leave with her for Tahiti. But Lili loves Freddy. She is going to his place in the afternoon. Oh Lili! Come to my place! I have a thousand kisses for you. I imagine a small house for us, you and me. Oh! Lili, darling!

hahaha. i think it's really lame.
at least it brings a grin to me and lift me up from an upset earlier on.

bonne nuit! (good nite!)

love, cy