AIRBOURNE. |Will there ever be satisfaction?|

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

"If one day you feel like crying...call me.
I don't promise I will make you laugh, but I can cry with you.
If one day you want to run away...Don't be afraid to call me.
I don't promise to ask you to stay, but I can run with you.
If one day you don't want to listen to anybody, call me...
I promise to be very quiet.
But, if one day you call and there is no answer...
Come fast to see me, perhaps I need you."

love, cy

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

CNY: wishing all prosperity, luck, wealth and happiness in ABUNDANCE.

and there's also work load in ABUNDANCE.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

tough period. not enough sleep. you can fill in my procrastination.

am feeling better for a moment due to a song dedication from Faith.

(:

.
.
.
sigh.

back to work.

Labels: i want to go for a holiday and lie on snow

love, cy

Monday, February 19, 2007

I've learnt quite a bit this Chinese New Year.

All along, he sees the family as society.

but love from others will triumph all. every single obstacle.

Labels: cny

love, cy

Friday, February 16, 2007

hw111: Mastering Communication-assignment 1 & 2 (to be handed in after cny)
dicussing assignment 2 online with audrie during chu1 san1.

hl103: Survey of E lit 2-essay 1 (to be handed in after cny)
send draft to tutor tina once she comes back from the holiday.
ideas have potential and are currently right on track, so says tina. (:
now the toughest part, unite my ideas with the precise words.

hl105: Singapore lit & culture-essay 1 (to be handed in in mid-march. phew.)
however, finish reading the book on Philip Jeyaratnam's 'Tigers in Paradise' by next wk.
Don't mind reading it. Brilliant ideas by this writer and lawyer, son of JBJ. Abraham's Promise and Jeyaratnam's essays to be read.

hl204: Sensibility & Romanticism-essay 1 (deadline not confirmed yet.)
Dawson oh dawson. Why do you like torturing your romantic kids so much? You give us worksheets every wk to complete (1 worksheet means having read 1 book) and now you can't let us off during cny. You're like the Norton Antology. love-hate.

"Some good news (no worksheet this week); some bad (there will be a mini-quiz at the beginning of the class on Wednesday to see how well you were able to read The Marriage of Heaven and Hell between counting your different Hong Baos. May you be blessed with high scores in both. Have a very Happy New Year."

Yea. Thanks, Dr. D.

LF80: French 1
consistent homework. fine with it. of coz you wouldn't give us a test after cny, yannick. you just gave one last wk. (:
*I still can't believe yannick's age is quarante ans. he looks like il a trente ans.*

ADM132: Western Art History
noth much. am done with the readings. presentation after recess. buy 'World History of Art'!

preparation for piano exam as well.

ahhhhh! I wished frankenstein could eat up the work that i have to do and throw up with the perfect answers.

回家咯！yay!

新年快乐！
Happy Chinese New Year!
Joyeux Novel An Chinois!

Labels: cny, profs, studies

love, cy

was asking sya bout muslim names and Islamic teachings.

nursyafiqa says:
confusing eh?

MISS MUSE composing. says:
yes

MISS MUSE composing. says:
haha

MISS MUSE composing. says:
gimme e.g.!

nursyafiqa says:
okay for eg tan ah kow wanted to marry aminah bin ahmad so he converts into islam and changes his name to taufik tan bin abdullah. then taufik tan and aminah has a baby n they named her rahimah. since rahimah is already born into a muslim family, then her name will take after her father's name. so she'll be known as rahimah tan bin taufik tan(up to the parents if they wanna preserve the chinese heritage still)

nursyafiqa says:
hahaha sorry ah bad example wakakka

MISS MUSE composing. says:
OHHHH!!

MISS MUSE composing. says:
hahaha i think it's a damn funni and precise example

nursyafiqa says:
wakakaka

nursyafiqa says:
what's in a name that which we call a rose blablabla

MISS MUSE composing. says:
LOL
.
.
.

love, cy

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

when this guy sent my heart fluttering...

I don't know what makes it so special for vday but 15min ago, something struck me. Because I used to create a blog for the two of us when we were together, my itchy hands went to tamper with the url. I don't know why i did it. Out of boredom, i guess.

It's more than a yr since i touched it. I can't even remember the id and password anymore.

I expected to see the same old entries that all along, only i posted them. But, i saw his. 4 or 5 of them. the last dating back to only last month.

I read them. All of them, word for word. once. twice. then i told myself to close the window. my heart's burning. All along, he wanted his chance. i was the one asking him for chances back then. but now, he wanted one.

I don't know why but i can't give him a yes. Till now he is tearing himself apart. I want to say yes, but i don't feel it anymore. All i could do is to sigh and tear.

He doesn't know that i know this. All of this.

the Supreme one, did you do this for a reason?
I'm sorry, my friend.

Labels: And therefore in love is said to be a child, because in choice he is oft so beguiled.

love, cy

Sunday, February 11, 2007

let's take a look.

I have to do tutorials every week. (which there isn't any in sem 1)
I just had a test last week.
I have 4-6 assignments on hand.
Projects. Presentations. Tests.
A piano theory internal exam approaching in 2 wks time.
And an ABRSM exam 1 mth later.

Plus never ending readings.

I just had a chat with my ex-piano theory tutor who taught me since i was 8/9/10 yrs old for a couple of years.
So he said,
"How's preparation for piano theory exam?"
"uhhh...ok lah. ha. ha. How's your grade 8 students?"
"They're not as good as I want them to be."
"Why leh?"
"Maybe coz they didn't grow up with me so it's more difficult to adopt my teaching methods."
"Orh..."
"So, are u ready to get a DISTINCTION?"
"har?!"

I'll try my very best.
wish me luck, peepos.

love, cy

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Love conquers all.
Amor vincit omnia.

love, cy

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

i am a living zombie.

i am in Dr. D's 3hr 204 lect and tutorial now.

i am responding 3 seconds later to what Dr. D says. Some others laugh at his opinions. i wanted to laugh but to my dismay, i realized that the best i could go was a corny smile. i smiled 3 seconds later.

then to my horror, i was daydreaming with garfield eyes when the class was going through a lecture worksheet together. I was called out.

and i took 10 seconds to respond when Dr. D called my name.

haha. see la. 5 hrs of sleep. kill me alr.

but still, i love Jane Austen!

Labels: sheepish Austen lover

love, cy

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Does looks really matter?

No? You're thinking that personality is the most important? But almost everyone's personality is okay. So it doesn't matter, does it? Still no?

No, i think it matters alot to most of us, esp where i am at right now.

It doesn't take a babe to know that guys look out for babes. And i thought looking good is just a bonus. A first impression, but not necessarily an important factor. Now it is more than an important factor, maybe even reaching to the first or second priority.

Till now I do not know how to define a babe.

Alamak.

But don't tell me how. This is my ideal conviction and get the infectious bugs out of my sight. It's just my eyes and ears. I'll stitch them to secure my belief.

Labels: looks

love, cy

i should have post this msg long ago but i was lazy and busy with work.
LIONS, ROCK ON!!!
99% of singaporeans must have been rooting for them, some of them praying hard even when they're watching project superstar in the indoor stadium. I was worried the whole night about their defense techniques and i thought lewis did a great job at eating up or vommitting the balls that nearly went into the goalpost. Kissing the goalpost does wonders. Amri's disbelief when he scored a golden goal during the 80+ minute sent Singapore into a state of euphoria. 50 odd red supporters in the midst of yellow shirts was a sign of courage, and the rest (some kiasee, others had personal commitments to attend to) prayed for the one goal that night.

Bliss. This match was as heated up as the previous one, or maybe more. For one second, I got worried for the 50+ lion supporters and imagined that they might be bashed up wherever they go after the match. was a little upset that Indra Sahdan didn't get to display his skills for the second leg, but he was cheeky and composed enough to get offered a yellow card sitting on a bench scolding Thonglao. Other players like daniel bennett, precious, alam shah, noh, shahril and ridhuan released and showed the power of the lions. Alam shah only smiles when he wins lor. He should smile more coz he looks as charming as chipmunk dale when he smiles. I couldn't help but worry for the first 80 minutes and then, sweet victory lasts even after the match. Referee shooting yellow cards at players all over the field and players were carried away almost every 5 minutes, how to not worry liddat.

but for that night, singaporeans couldn't stop smiling, probably even till now. Coach thank the players, the players thank their coach, we thank the players, the players thank their Gods, we thank our Gods...the thanksgiving session never ends. 2007-ASEAN Championship: Singapore. see lah, now i regret i din go for the semis. i'll wait for the next one, when im much older.

Actually, my purpose of writing this entry is because i'm waiting to go to bed. Sherry just came back at 1+am and then i was ready for bed. But, someone knocked on our door (most prob Ivan, her bf) and then i said "hmmm?" Sherry shook her head to signal not to open the door. Felt sth was wrong. Asked if she's ok. She said yeah. And then the knocking went on and off at times for 30mins. I wanted to open the door to talk to Ivan but then Sherry would probably kill me. haha. I'm in no position to talk bout this kind of things la. And im not turning in yet because I need to go to the toilet. So i can't talk to Ivan, can't open the door and can't go to the loo! Aiyo. relationships. Sometimes I tend to ask myself if no argument is possible between a couple, or is it inevitable. I wished there was an alternative to quarrelling to show that the person's intention was really just being concerned and caring.

ok i gtg to the loo, then bed. lights out. night, darls. [whoa. 2.22am alr. zonked.]

Labels: hostel, lions, relationships

love, cy

Saturday, February 03, 2007

It's awfully nice to know that i'm being greeted heartwarmingly once i'm home during the weekends, even if that means my family members come home much later than me. I basically digged everything in the kitchen (not much if you know that this house doesn't cook. what a waste lah!) and had a binge.

then mom and dad came hm. thinking elder was behind them made mi not smile when i see them. but no! he wasnt there. dad greeted "HELLO!" Both mom and dad were carrying alot of plastic bags. mom either don't talk or procrastinate if she's feeling uncomfortable (i.e. carrying the heavy bags). so after 3 seconds, i replied "hello...". felt bad not greeting them with a wide smile budden it was becoz i tot...u know...

I remembered last sun night when dad and mom fetched me back to hostel, he shouted while i was walking up the stairs "Got enough money or not?" (as usual) and "Work harder ah! Take care ah!"

Then elder came back.

Then bro came back. I was in the room. I turned my head wanting to ask him about ipod stuff and he greeted me with a really WIDE GRIN showing all his front white teeth saying "HEYYY YOOO!!!" ok that made me smile, for a long time. After i came back from the toilet, he said he was daydreaming about me in a business suit with long silky hair. I remembered this isn't the first time someone said this to me. SJ said tt to me too back in JC. so i asked bro, "why you also think that way ah?" and he replied, "i think you look good this way. Dunno leh...you got the look that is similar to any other businessman/woman." HUH? And then he went on asking how come i dun have silky hair anymore. -____- so sad lah. my silky hair!! all gone from layering and dyeing my hair non-stop. but better than a few mths ago so ok lah. =)

hmmm. so elder was ticking dad off bout some video thingy moments ago and i added spice to agitate elder. he din say anything but he slammed the door. If history is going to repeat again then this time i don't know where my elevated fear and hatred are going to take me to. Perhaps I've been thinking too much over these few wks. I don't really know. All i know is that I can only protect by speaking out against him, even if it leads to worse matters. He has taken me to a stage where no others have taken me to. He's the only one that I can shout out loud against his inhumane words right beside him because there's so much disliking towards him, even if I know it might lead to another abuse.

just quarrelled with dad over him. stupid. this was never only elder's hse. It's my house, our house. Dad jolly well know how much i hate him. Effy. Don't ever let this repeat for i pray this new mth for safety. He'll never know if i'm ever going to take a knife. I'll never know too.

if only i could have one wish. so now you know how much i envy a loving family that lives under one roof? headlines: 'one destructive, psuedo smart young adult causing a peaceful family to fall apart.' putting this family to the test or wad.

the little happy moments override the unhappy and unnecessary ones, rmb? now i say this to myself and tml morning will be better.

this is just a test. a test of rights and morals, no? a test of forgiveness and love.

now, sayang. sayang.

Labels: family

love, cy

Thursday, February 01, 2007

i woke up late as usual and rushed down to north spine by foot.
perspiration poured down all over me and then at the instant when i was wiping away my sweat in an unsightly manner, Ms. Audrey (as you can rmb, mamas), zoomed past me in the campus near NIE. One of my JC PE tutors running ard in NTU on a weekday!
But i had no chance to chat with her coz i was rushing for class and coz she was running towards a different direction.

she reminds me of good old PE lessons, John Lim and his memorial.

Labels: nyjc PE

love, cy